Faith without works is dead

Again. Another gun violence tragedy. I am simultaneously numb and livid. It's taken me nearly a week to get my thoughts out from my head onto this page.

I really don't know what to say except I am sorry. 

I am sorry the victims are dead simply because they were out having a good time with people they loved. 

I am sorry the killer had legal access to such a powerful and deadly weapon, and perhaps most lethal of all, an Internet connection.

I am sorry some families learned their loved one was gay and gone in the same breath.

I am sorry that I am part of a faith and denomination that has been complicit in making the LGBTQ community "other" rather than embracing them fully as children of God. 

I am sorry that some Christian people feel the need to demonize all Muslims out of fear and ignorance.

I am sorry. 

At times like this when harm has been done my Christian faith tradition calls me to identify my role in the harm done, to repent, and to work to repair the rift caused by my actions. 

Though I may not be the one who pulled the trigger in this evil act, my silence and hesitancy to step out and lift up, protect, and affirm my LGBTQ brothers and sisters is just as dangerous. Not defending my Muslim brothers and sisters against the hateful speech being spewed against them is also wrong. 

I am sorry.

But sorry is just a word.Thoughts and prayers are not enough. Faith without actions is dead (James 2:17). 

As my family did previously after the Sandy Hook massacre we will be completing 50 random acts of kindness, one for each of the victims. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." We will also be reading books to learn more about peacemaking and other religions. We attended a vigil sponsored by PFLAG Charleston. 

I've also written my representatives about working for common sense gun legislation including assault weapon bans and background checks. Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America

and Everytown for Gun Safety have resources for talking to your elected officials on their websites and Facebook pages. 

We will fight fear with facts. We will open our hearts, though our first instinct might be to close off. We will listen and learn. We will speak out when necessary.
 Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me and my little family. 

Ask a Pastor's Wife: My Answers

This question comes from Julie R.:

Since we are in the middle of a big move, and I know the Methodist church preachers move as much as military members do, how is the Church with providing resources and assistance with relocating your family? The Army provides school liaisons to help with school transitions, there are multiple agencies that can help provide anything from dishes and toasters, you name it.  The army makes it as stress free as they can. Not to say it's easy, but there is help out there if you need it.

 

Great question!

You are correct in saying itinerant United Methodist pastors move frequently; I believe the average is every 4.5 years. You are also correct that both types of moves can be challenging. But a ministry move is different from a military move in a few ways: 

1. There are no designated liaisons. In our most recent move a lovely church member sent me a detailed document with doctors, dentists, grocery stores, school contacts, etc. Upon meeting her when we arrived in town, I thanked her for the list. She responded that she hoped someone would do the same for her if she were in our shoes (#dountoothers). 

The church did collect about a dozen gift cards from local restaurants for us. That went a long way in helping us adjust to the new area, and took away some of the stress of cooking with half of my kitchen still in boxes. 

That type of outreach isn't standard practice, but it certainly was kind and helpful. I'm sure this varies from church to church, but it does set the tone for how welcome the new pastor and his/her family feels in their new congregation. In theory, the church community itself should be your liasons. 

It is also helpful when the transitioning clergy person and his/her family can meet and discuss the challenges and strengths of the church and community. To date, we haven't had this type of meeting, and I'm sure there are a number of reasons for that. But we plan on making sure that whatever clergy person follows us has a fair and honest idea of the needs of our congregations before we move on to our next appointment. 

2. Though there are standards unique to each conference, moving isn't always a streamlined or predictable process. For example, for our first appointment (moving from Michigan to Illinois) we packed, paid for, and drove our own U-Haul. Some members of the church were at the parsonage to help unpack, which was enormously helpful. I believe we were reimbursed for some of our moving costs later. 

For our second move (within the Illinois Great Rivers Conference) we solicited bids from several moving companies who walked around the house and gave us estimates based on predicted weight of our stuff. We chose the company with which we felt most comfortable. We packed the boxes, the moving company packed the truck. They drove the truck, unpacked it, and set up our beds before they left. It was a two-day process with an overnight hotel stay in between. The moving company sent the bill to the church. 

By our next move perhaps we'll be better prepared. We're beginning year 3 of our appointment in Neoga/Etna/Toledo this July, so if the average holds true for us, we may be moving in the next year or two. But maybe not! Only the bishop and district superintendents know for sure.  Since we're getting a new bishop in the fall, who knows what might happen! 

3. Moving is expensive! Though most moves within the conference aren't farther than 3-4 hours away, the process drains both emotional and physical energy. Also, money. The new church picks up the cost of the move, so pastors and their families do their best to keep costs down, as they don't want to bring stress and financial tension before they even arrive at their new charge. 

Many families opt to break down and store their moving boxes from year to year so as not to have to pay for new ones. We bought zero boxes for our last move, reusing sturdy produce containers from our local grocery store instead. 

Fun fact: liquor stores also have excellent boxes. 

4. The timeline is usually short from appointment to moving day. Appointments begin on July 1. The process to fill vacancies and shuffle pastors begins months before that. Typically, pastors get the dreaded call from their district superintendent between February and March. I've known pastors who have sweat through their shirt at the mere appearance of their district superintendant's phone number on their cell phone in the late winter months. 

Anyway, if you find out in March that you're moving in July, there's just enough time to start looking at schools, getting bids for movers, making necessary repairs to the parsonage, saying goodbyes, and hoarding boxes. 

I hope that answers your question, Julie. And best of luck in your upcoming move!

If you have any more questions, post them in the comments or email me at christina.krost@gmail.com. 

Ask a Pastor's Wife

One of the benefits of being the wife of an itinerant United Methodist pastor is getting to meet new people everywhere I go. Seriously, everywhere: grocery stores, outlet malls, coffee shops, rest stops (yes, really). My husband and I strike up conversations or respond to others' questions literally anywhere. 

Though we might not always agree with every facet of the United Methodist Church, it's like our family--bruised and a little banged up, sometimes guilty of doing harm and squabbling with our siblings, but above all working to keep love at its center. 

I especially love meeting folks who don't go to church or who have been hurt by church. I've been told that I'm not a "typical" pastor's wife (whatever that means), which sometimes makes space for open and honest conversations. And as I've written before, my super power is people telling me things. 

So, here's your chance. Any burning questions you want to ask a pastor's wife?  I'm not shy, but keep'em clean and appropriate, please.

Post your questions in the comments and I'll respond to them next week. My family and I will be at the Annual Conference of the Illinois Great Rivers Conference next week, so your questions will give me something to think about while I sit through hours of legislation and debate over church business. 

We're not the first.

I haven't blogged in a while. I don't have any grand excuse, and it's not that I've had nothing to say, I'm just feeling...meh.

In the past few weeks I've been riding waves of emotion while following the General Conference of the United Methodist Church take place in Portland, Oregon, which nearly ripped the church apart and deferred work on LGBTQI inclusion to committee which will convene at a later date. My heart broke as it also voted down measures to divest from fossil fuels and severed a relationship with an organization that was integral to maternal health care around the world. It ran out of time to take up other important legislation from United Methodist Women that would have helped elevate women and children globally.
Lord, hear our prayer.

Real life happened, too.
The check engine light came on in the van. Thankfully, tightening the gas cap did the trick.
Ava turned 7, celebrated with birthday treats for her class and a butterfly-themed party with her friends.
The girls finished up first- and fifth-grade and recognized their teachers for their steadfast care and guidance.
My moms group at church decided to move in another direction this fall, which is part relief and part challenge.
Harper began full-time daycare this week. We're wrestling with whether or not to send her to preK midyear when she turns 3.
I started a community garden. It's hard but holy work.
Todd completed his nearly year-long Clinical Pastoral Education requirement, which puts him one step closer to ordination next summer.
I was invited to participate in a leadership conference on climate justice in New Orleans in June, which is an honor and a stress at the same time.

It's all come at me so quickly that I've not had much chance to process it all. I feel like I can't keep up.

So when a friend invited me to an adult tea party at her home last Sunday, I jumped at the chance. I mean, who wouldn't want to kick back with friends and finger sandwiches at 4PM on a beautiful spring afternoon? The car ride there was a luxury in itself, as I didn't have little voices demanding attention the entire time and could listen to whatever I wanted on the radio.

I happened to catch part of the TED Radio Hour on NPR on the ride over. Janine Benyus, a self-proclaimed nature-nerd, was speaking about her 2009 talk on biomimicry. You can view it here. She is part of the The Biomimicry Institute, which defines biomimicry as an approach to innovation that seeks sustainable solutions to human challenges by emulating nature's time-tested patterns and strategies. For example, engineers might look at the aerodynamics of the kingfisher bird to quiet a bullet train as it enters and exits a tunnel, or a termite mound to learn how to efficiently cool a tall building, or a humpback whale to design a better wind turbine blade. Nature, it seems, has put solutions all around us, we just haven't noticed.

(Image taken from Pinterest)

Humans are making a big mess of everything, it seems: our land, air, and water, and our relationships. We think that if something has been done well, humans must have done it. How vain, right? But have you ever looked at a wasp's nest? Or a leaf, up close? Or ants as they gather Goldfish crumbs on the kitchen floor? Or a mother bird care for her babies? Or a snowflake? Nature consistently does it better, more beautifully, and more gently than humans ever have. Plants and animals expend only the energy necessary to complete a task, no more, no less.

Sometimes I feel like the only one who can solve my family's problems, or my church's problems, or my town's problems, and that's the same kind of hubris: It's not up to me alone. We're not the first generation to experience challenges, and we won't be the last. But if we work together, as nature has learned to do, we might have a chance at rising to meet them.

I love the idea of asking myself this question when confronted with an obstacle: How does nature solve this? It's a reminder that when the world gets too big, I can get small. I can look around and feel God's presence and genius and love all around me. There are solutions or strategies to my problems hiding in the minutiae.

We're not the first. But we might be the last if we can't learn to live more gracefully with the earth and each other.

Two truths and a lie--and a Mother's Day giveaway

Ever play the icebreaker "two truths and a lie"? It's pretty straightforward: you state two things that are true about yourself and throw in one thing that isn't, then ask your friends to guess which is the lie. Hilarity--or awkward silence--ensues.

Let's play!

1. I have a 4 cup a day coffee habit (fair trade, of course). Don't judge, these kids (and husband) are exhausting. 

2. I strongly dislike any salad that has fruit in it. This flavor combination makes me inexplicably angry. I hear it's tasty, I just cannot even. 

3. I have two webbed toes on each foot. This (freakish) trait was a helpful adaptation back in my competitive swimming days. 

Can you guess the lie? Post your guess in the comments below. I'll choose a random commenter at noon on Sunday, May 8 (Mother's Day). I will contact the winner by email to set up delivery. 

Here's what you're playing for...

 ...a devotional called Prayers with Purpose for Women and 3 bottles of my favorite non-toxic nail polish, Piggy Paint!

Good luck and happy Mother's Day!